The Life in Your Years

On February 24, 2011 I lost my mom following her short battle with AML (acute myeloid leukemia) at Fisher-Titus Medical Center in Norwalk, Ohio as she was surrounded by her family and her two dearest friends. She was four days shy of her sixty ninth birthday. That day as the seventeen days before it are still six years later very vivid in my mind. The diagnosis we received at the Cleveland Clinic on the eighth of February was definitely not what we were hoping to hear. The words hospice and its meaning literally knocked the air out of me and words will never come that truly describe how that day affected me. “We suggest you contact your local hospice and get their services involved.” This coming from the leukemia specialist were words I could only hear and at that time not even fathom or did I want to believe or acknowledge. I was alone with my mom when the results came back that day just an hour after having a spinal tap. My family had driven back to Norwalk to take showers, get some rest and make further arrangements in their lives as I chose to stay and be with her. With just the three of us in that room on the twelfth floor of that large hospital, we discussed what the future would hold for my mother. As I held her hand I knew she was fighting to stay brave. Treatment options didn’t exist because of her age and the advancement of the cancer. The doctor explained possible scenarios of how the disease may run its course, describing the effects of another leukemic white cell blast and the possibilities of having a stroke or going into cardiac arrest due to that elevation in those blood cells. The biggest blow to come was when near the end of our conversation with him, I asked what kind of time frame we were looking at, I was thinking a year, at a minimum several months but when he said three, possibly four weeks. My life sort of stood at a standstill, my ears heard the words but my brain couldn’t compute the meaning while my heart completely shattered. My mother left the Cleveland Clinic after three days there and was transferred to the Stein Hospice Care Center on the third floor of the Firelands Regional Medical Center’s South Campus in Sandusky. Family had started to arrive from all over the country and I was desperately trying to keep my mind occupied in helping get family settled and the process of making the calls to let our family know the news. You may be thinking why we didn’t bring her home right away, Ma decided that for us. Ma knew we weren’t mentally or emotionally prepared to bring her home to die. She knew that a transition time for not just her but for her family was needed, a way she could help us prepare for what was inevitable. I had never had any experience with hospice, my cousin Dianna assured me that it was the biggest blessing I would ever experience as she had experienced their services. And it was! The very first time I rode the elevator up to Stein Hospice and read the Abraham Lincoln quote on the wall at the elevators I knew it was a special place. Our time with Ma at Stein Hospice was all about her and our journey to the end of her life. She loved the attention of getting spa treatments, her nails done, being allowed to have a pizza party with her family, her family being allowed to be there with her as we tried to get ready to say goodbye. Stein Hospice is a loving caring place where death and dying aren’t the focal point of being there, its focus is celebrating life to its final moments. There was always soups, baked goods, cookies and treats for the families, always someone to listen to your story hold your hand or hand you a tissue. An angel on earth came into my life as a result of Stein Hospice and we have become friends through that association (and I am also her daughter’s Confirmation Catchiest) Julie. At the time she was there I’m not sure if she was employed or volunteering, I keep forgetting to ask her. Julie sat and talked with me one afternoon while Ma was sleeping and helped me cope as she answered my questions and was just there to comfort me, with a smile, a hug and her presence. Today when I think of an angel – Julie’s face pops into my mind. After my mother passed away I started dropping cookies off for the families at the care center, anonymously- just putting them on the table and walking away, doing something that I know will make a difference in their lives. On the days I do this I spend my lunch hour driving to Sandusky, stopping at Kroger’s and then riding the elevator to the third floor where I always stop to read and shed a tear each time to the words of Abraham Lincoln

My mother had a lot of life in her years – Rest in Peace Ma! I love and miss you every day!
…and to my cousin Jo, God Bless you and thank you for being one of those angels to hospice patients and their families.
Want to make a difference in the lives of hospice families, give to your local hospice, trust me it means the world to those families and patients, this coming from someone that has experienced their love!

Go now and try my Potato Soup recipe, and remember your loved ones that have passed away.