SOS for my Dad!

I’ve been thinking about my dad lately and my thoughts keep going back to a time in our lives that wasn’t always the best of times. My parents divorced when I was in the 5th grade. It was a devastating time for everyone it affected, myself included and especially for my younger brother. We lived back and forth between our parents and always in the back of my mind, I truly believed that they would end the madness and reconcile; which never happened. In the times I lived with my dad, he did his best, he wasn’t perfect and he had many demons he had to live with daily. Sometimes these demons reared their ugly heads and made life quite emotionally heartbreaking. My dad and I had what could be said, a very tumultuous relationship, we always seemed to be at odds, always arguing and fighting. It wasn’t until I was older and living on my own that I understood the struggles he went through in raising children, alone at that. I remember he truly tried to be the best dad that he could be. It was my dad in this time of my life that introduced me to hamburger gravy that he called SOS – now I won’t explain what he meant when he said SOS, but for my brother and I it was delicious and to be honest very comforting. The first time he made it for us, we gobbled it down along with the toast he served it over. Now mind you after the 500th time of making it for us, we weren’t as excited. It was his staple, easy, go to meal to feed his sons, and when I think of it now I realize the love he put into each and every pan of that hot beefy concoction Between the SOS and a large gut of bologna we never went hungry and we knew dad would always provide for us; however he could. I lost my dad in 1993 at the age of 50 when he passed away from a long struggle with heart disease, too young to be taken from us and so unfair that he would never get to meet his beautiful granddaughters. Granddaughters that I make sure know who he was as I keep his memories alive for me and them. I see a lot of my dad in both of them, Mallory has his quick witted humor and Sydney is definitely obsessive as he was. They both have so much love for their two cats as my dad had with his poodle dogs which he loved and spoiled. We never make a visit to West Virginia without stopping at the cemetery to just say hello to him and visit with him for a bit. I made hamburger gravy this week and as I was stirring it my dad was right there alongside me, smiling and happy that I keep his memory alive. In the process I feel I’m making him proud, proud that a simple dish he made for me, 42 year ago – is still a part of my life, all because of him. I miss you dad and I as I raised my fork loaded with mashed potatoes and your SOS – I think of you and love you! Go enjoy some simple hamburger gravy with the ones you love!